If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
