The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
