you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
