3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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