but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
