they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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