Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize