How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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