I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize