Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
