Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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