No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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