Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
