i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
