Buhtt sex?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
