so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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