just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
