I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
