Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
