Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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