dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
