she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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