i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
