i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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