just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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