Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize