I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize