As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
