Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
