It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
