OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
