all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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