i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
