she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize