Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
