i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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