id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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