apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
