literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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