Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
