Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
