If i come over, it means nothing
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
