Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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