i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think your dad took our porno
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Randomize
