Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
