I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
