That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
