I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
