If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
