Having a random hookup so left but love u
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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