I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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