i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
