Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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