I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I want to have your abortion
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
