I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
