so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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