I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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