sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
