you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
