Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
