Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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