That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
