so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just had sex on a roof
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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