I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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