just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Randomize
