I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
