While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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