I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
