Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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