it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
