So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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