Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
