Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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